Portastand Minstrel 2.0

If you’ve ever had a younger sibling, you’re well familiar with the unadulterated joy found in recreationally picking on a tiny helpless human being. You’re also familiar with the crippling, karmic fear that washes over you when that sibling grows up. The Portastand Minstrel 2.0 is that sibling, and it’s been hitting the gym. It limbos with the best of ’em, reaching mere feet off the floor for the seated player. It hops like a champ, extending to full face level for the standing musician. Its tripod features our all-new Superior Pro Clutch design. With our signature all-metal powder-coated construction, no plastic parts, and an almost unsettling bench-pressing ability, the Minstrel can fold flat and lift the most brick-like of laptops, tablets, or music scores with the strength of your little brother after that horrifying mid-’90s growth spurt—then fold up in an instant and disappear into the nearest closet, so Mom will probably blame you for the whole thing anyway. Not that we’re compensating for our difficult childhoods or anything.